Monthly faves

LIFESTYLE🍃

Um...can you believe it's November? I feel like I just put up all my autmnal decor yesterday, and now it's almost time to replace them with christmas decor. At htis time of the month, it's time for my monthly favorites.

In beauty, I bought an eyebrow pencil recently. It has a brush at the end, and I was really exited when I bought it because it is exactly my shade. I feel like when I put it on, I look older. Not in a bad way tho.
I discovered kinda like a new look for me with it. I just leave out the mascara and instead I do my eyebrows. And that's it. I feel like eyebrows just really frame your face, and you don't really need the other stuff.


I like to experiment, and put myself up to a challenge, like going vegan, which I did last year for a month or so. Now I'm on a vegetarian challenge but I might swerve into vegan after a while. I'm trying out different sorts of food that replace the normals, I guess. I really got into the Soya and Coconut milk thing, and that is my favorite. I bought a Coconut/Chocolate Milk and it tastes delicious. Since yesterday I'm trying a new one that is Soya/Vanilla and it's tasty but not my favorite because it's too sweet for my taste.

My favorite interior are picture frames. It may sound weird but I bought them and they're just those glasses as cover and no actual frame. Idrew some pictures last week and I wanted to put them up on my wall, and because they have a kinda specific style to them I thought that a huge frame would just distract.
I bought them in a store called TIGER and they were only 1 euro!!

Music. I love music and I feel like so much new music came out this month, it's really hard to decide. I've already shared my Halloween playlist and that is basically all I've listened to this month. But my favorites from that playlist are Twin Size Matress by The Front Bottoms. I saw the quote "With tears in my eyes I begged you to stay, you said hey man I love you but now fucking way" on tumblr a lot, I loved it and found out it's that song. It's just a bonus that it's now one of my favorites. iTunes
Another facorite is the new album by 5 Seconds of Summer. It's different to the first one and you can actually hear how they've matured and how you can amazing songs when you exprerience and see the world. SGFG



~k80

Short Story

You're inside my mind!

I never finish anything. Not a play on my piano, not a song on my guitar. I always stop when it either gets to hard or when I know the refrain. Then I'm done.
This night I sit on the floor in my room, the little candle I got from my grandma last year is my only light. I have my acoustic guitar on my lap and hold the strings. I don't play them, I just listen to the silence. I don't hear any noise but even that can be so loud that you fear you might go deaf. I take a deep breath just so I know I can still hear, and so I know I am still here. Sometimes I have the feeling that I'm in another world. It's like, I know I'm sitting in my room in the middle of the night on a school night. I know I'm holding my guitar by the neck and cover the strings so they don't make a sound. I see the little flame in my vanilla scented candle flickering in the dark every time I breathe out. But I don't feel anything. I hold my hand above the candle and feel the heat of the flame raising as I get closer. I pull away when it gets too hot. I pinch my arm, I feel how the spot gets red and I stop because it started to hurt. I do feel physical pain. But I know I don't feel the mental one. I think back a couple of years, back to my first heartbreak. I remember 15 year old me being broken into thousands of pieces, while I laid crying in the same spot I sit today. I try to get the feeling back. I try to feel something. Being heartbroken might not be the nicest of feelings but it is one. I haven't cried in a long time. I just stare at the ceiling or the wall and notice how the inner of my body is sucked into a deep black hole. I don't know if there is an end or what's in that hole. Probably nothing. I always like to imagine that there is a new universe. A universe I created myself. One where I like it and wouldn't want to change anything about it. But then I think that there is nothing again because most of me is already sucked into that whole and I am still on this earth, where I have to get up at 6am  five times a week. Where I do my homework for two hours six times a week. I eat dinner everyday on the same chair, at the same time while some TV show is on. It's the same routine day in and day out.
I pick up my phone but then remember that I turned it off yesterday. I don't know what time it is or how long I sat here. I put the lowest string between my thumb and my index finger.
I think: What would be if I don't hear the sound of the E-string. What if I actually went deaf while I fell deeper and deeper into that black hole. I don't know where it is in my body, if it is in me. Maybe in my heart or my head. Maybe it's just one massive hole inside of me. I think about letting the string go but stop again for a second, and think about what it would mean if I'd be deaf. Would it mean I'm dead?
I close my eyes and pull my fingers away. And I hear the bass sound of the thickest string filling my room.
A bit disappointed I get up, put my guitar in it's corner, blow out the candle and go to bed.


This is not a journal but more of a creative writing! ~k80